Times Like These
by evenstarundomiel
Summary: Co-written with Sage- Mod 20032004- many song fics linked into one main fic - War fic - IRAQ - Jack and the boys go to war. PLEASE Don't read if you're gonna flame. It is a little angsty.
1. times like these

This fic started out as a simple one shot Sagey was going to write for me...but it snowballed into a full fic which Sage and I are writing together. It is truly a labor of love for us and we hope you enjoy it. Grab some tissues. And please review... This is dedicated to the men and women of the armed forces who have given their time and their lives to protect their country and their families. Especially for: Sgt. Aegina Spencer, USAF Lt. Col. Gregg Martin, US Army And their families ~ WE LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE IN OUR HEARTS AND PRAYERS  
  
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Disclaimer: We don't own Newsies. Disney does. The songs used in the fic are all owned by the artists that wrote and performed them. All OCs are owned by the girls that created them. If you want to use one of the OCs please contact the owners first.  
  
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In Times Like These - Jack Johnson  
  
In times like these  
  
In times like those  
  
What will be will be  
  
And so it goes  
  
And it always goes on and on...  
  
On and on it goes  
  
And there has always been laughing, crying, birth, and dying  
  
Boys and girls with hearts that take and give and break  
  
And heal and grow and recreate and raise and nurture  
  
But then hurt from time to time like these  
  
And times like those  
  
And what will be will be  
  
And so it goes  
  
And there will always be stop and go and fast and slow  
  
Action, Reaction, sticks and stones and broken bones  
  
Those for peace and those for war  
  
And god bless these ones, not those ones  
  
But these ones made times like these  
  
And times like those  
  
What will be will be  
  
And so it goes  
  
And it always goes on and on...  
  
On and on it goes  
  
But somehow I know it won't be the same  
  
Somehow I know it will never be the same.  
  
~*~  
  
Bryan Denton, ace war correspondent for KSTX News, leaned forward in his seat. "I'm going to be along with you for the whole ride. Start to finish."  
  
Captain Jack Kelly, of the 3rd Infantry shoved his hand through his short but disheveled hair. "You do realize this ain't a game, right, Mr. Denton?" His words were just a bit on the venomous side.  
  
"Please, just Denton."  
  
"Right, Denton..." Jack cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrow just a bit. " You haven't signed on for a joy ride, Denton."  
  
"Oh, no. I know that. I've been covering war stories since Desert Storm."  
  
"Covering 'war stories' and livin' war is hardly the same thing."  
  
"I understand that Sir. And I promise I won't get in the way."  
  
Jack gave him a hard look. "You better not. I've got the lives of my men to think about not just the 'public's right to know.'"  
  
"Definitely," Denton nodded in agreement as he placed his notebook and pen on the table between them. "You have a family at home Captain?"  
  
The look in Jack's eyes softened just a bit and he even allowed a lopsided grin to grace his tired face. "Yeah, wife an' three kids."  
  
Denton smiled warmly. Memorizing everything as they talked. "Bet it's been a while since ya talked to them?"  
  
"I've been here almost six months." He frowned. "I'm lucky to get five minutes on the phone with her."  
  
The reporter nodded. "I got a wife, and two kids in high school, myself." He pulled out a small silver phone encased in plastic to keep out the sand. "I can't guarantee how long the connection will last. But as a show of gratitude, and, I hope, friendship, I'd be happy to let you use it to call your family."  
  
Jack eyed the phone with more than mild interest. "That cost's what? A hundred bucks a minute?" His dark brow cocked up as he considered the possibility of speaking to his wife that night.  
  
"Don't worry about it. It's on me." Denton slid the phone across the table toward him. "Just press pound then dial like it's long distance in the states."  
  
Jack picked up the phone. He stared at the small object for just a moment before dialing his home number.  
  
~*~  
  
The shrill ringing of the telephone on the nightstand shattered the otherwise peaceful calm of the night. Sage jumped and grabbed the receiver, putting it to her ear.  
  
"Hello?" She asked groggily. It continued to ring. What the ?  
  
She blinked at the clock LED that read 04:18 and pressed the talk button of the cordless phone and tried again. "Hello?"  
  
"Baby?"  
  
Tears pricked her eyes and her voice froze in her throat. "Jack?" It came out as little more than a harsh whisper.  
  
"Sagey? Honey can you hear me?" His voice sounded panicked now.  
  
Sage swallowed hard. "Jack?" her voice finally let her croak out his name a little louder this time. "Oh, God. Is that really you?"  
  
"Yeah baby, it's me." He choked back his own tears as he heard her sob into the phone.  
  
Sage blinked again in an attempt to hold some kind of composure but it was useless. The tears flowed like the strongest river down her cheeks. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." He smiled and Denton rose from the table and walked to the front of the tent to allow for some privacy. "I don't have much time. I just wanted to hear your voice and tell you I love you."  
  
"I love you too!" She sobbed. "I miss you so much."  
  
"How are the kids? Are they being good?"  
  
"They're perfect. And miss you so much." She sniffed and grabbed for a handful of kleenex as she talked. "Should I wake them?"  
  
Commotion on the other end of the line filtered through. Men shouting orders and loud distorted noises. Bomb raid sirens blared.  
  
"Jack? What's happening?"  
  
"It's okay sweetheart. I gotta go. Kiss the kids for me and tell them I love them."  
  
"Jack! I have to tell you something..."  
  
"I love you baby."  
  
"I love you... Jack, I'm pregnant."  
  
The line went dead. "Jack!?"  
  
Nothing. "JACK!?"  
  
A few clicks and then the buzz of a dial tone.  
  
Sage clutched the phone to her chest and curled up into a ball. She pulled the fluffy white teddy bear he'd given her before he left (it smelled of his cologne) into her arms and sobbed herself to sleep.  
  
~*~  
  
We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when,  
  
Bit I know we'll meet again some sunny day.  
  
Keep smiling through just like you always do,  
  
Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away.  
  
So will you please say hello to the folks that I know, tell them I won't be long.  
  
They'll be happy to know that as you saw me go, I was singing this song.  
  
We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when,  
  
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day.  
  
~ Frank Sinatra ~ 


	2. war

"It's starting. . ." Sage said softly, leaning back into the couch, her hands over her swelling stomach. Eve Meyers slipped her hand into one of Sage's, the other arm holding a tiny baby boy. Katie Higgins, Rachel Conlon and Crystal Green immediately stopped their conversation and turned to the television. Liz Donnen picked up the remote and turned up the volume. Hope Masters leaned against the wall, an unlit cigarette in her hand.  
  
"My fellow citizens, at this hour, American and coalition forces are in the early stages of military operations to disarm Iraq, to free its people and to defend the world from grave danger."  
  
The words of President Bush cut like glass through the seven women's hearts. They were crowded in front of the small television in Sage's living room, desperate to hear about their husbands and fiances, all of whom were overseas with the military in Iraq.  
  
"Oh God. . ." Katie whispered, her voice strained. Liz put her arm around her friend reassuringly.  
  
"To all the men and women of the United States Armed Forces now in the Middle East, the peace of a troubled world and the hopes of an oppressed people now depend on you. That trust is well placed."  
  
The only sound other than the voice of the president was the innocent sound of young children's laughter; completely oblivious to the danger that their fathers were in. The little ones were happily playing together. Ben, Eve's oldest child, gave up on the game and came to his mother's side.  
  
"Mami, why are you crying?" he asked, looking up at her, his big hazel eyes full of concern. "Papi said I couldn't let you cry. . ." he said firmly, trying to impersonate his father's voice. Eve couldn't help but smile at him. Upon seeing her happy, he returned to the other children, a triumphant grin on his face.  
  
"I know that the families of our military are praying that all those who serve will return safely and soon. Millions of Americans are praying with you for the safety of your loved ones and for the protection of the innocent. For your sacrifice, you have the gratitude and respect of the American people. And you can know that our forces will be coming home as soon as their work is done."  
  
Hope scoffed at this.  
  
"You're damn right we're praying for them to come home." she said, finally lighting the cigarette.  
  
"Do you think he understands what it's like for us?" Katie asked, picking up her three week old baby, who had been sleeping in the stroller next to the couch.  
  
Crystal also had tears in her eyes, this was completely new for her; she'd been engaged for about a month when he was shipped out. She leaned against Rachel, her tears flowing swiftly. Rachel was simply staring at the screen in numbed shock.  
  
"My fellow citizens, the dangers to our country and the world will be overcome. We will pass through this time of peril and carry on the work of peace. We will defend our freedom. We will bring freedom to others and we will prevail. May God bless our country and all who defend her." The growing baby within Sage's body kicked hard as Bush spoke his last words. Sage bit back her tears, trying to be strong. Unlike the other girls, her husband, Captain Jack Kelly, had been deployed before. Everyone relied on Sage for strength- strength which every day became more difficult to provide. After her short conversation with Jack, she had been desolate. The first time had been easier; she didn't have three children to take care of, reminding her of him and making her miss him even more.  
  
"They'll be okay." Sage said, as much to convince herself as the others in the room. Tears stung her emerald eyes and she forced a smile. "We need to stick together girls. Anything anyone needs," she looked around the room; most of the girls there young mothers and wives, "we take care of as a group. There's no need to worry the guys about small stuff." Part of her hoped he'd heard what she said and part hoped he didn't so it wouldn't distract him from what he had to do.  
  
~*~  
  
Captain Jack Kelly sat by himself, staring at his hands. His talk with his wife had both exhilarated him and made him long even more for her company. Their conversation played over and over again in his head. "Jack I'm-" and then the line dying. She's what? Is there something wrong? Why didn't I just listen? He said a quick prayer for her and for their three children, Kaitlyn, Faith and Connor, before standing up and going off to find some of his friends.  
  
Tyler "Mush" Meyers and Aiden "Spot" Conlon were embroiled in a passionate discussion as Jack sat down with them to eat his dinner.  
  
"Fellas, what's wrong?" he asked them calmly. Spot glared at Jack.  
  
"Some reporter's coming with us on the mission. . ." Mush answered, his voice full of disdain.  
  
"He's just gonna get in the way." Spot said icily. "Plus, I don't want Rachel seeing me here. maybe seeing too much for her own good. I mean. the press is gonna show casualties." Spot sighed. His wife was always on his mind. He hadn't spoken to her in months, and her last letter had come three weeks earlier. He was desperate for word from her and their young boys, Sean and Patrick.  
  
The mention of Denton drew Jack's mind away from the present. Sage's face swam before him, her words on that phone haunting him. He got up from the table where the two sat. "Don't worry about Denton. . . he might be useful to us. . ."  
  
"Jack, is it true that you talked to Sage?" Mush asked, his voice cracking. Jack nodded. "God I wish I could talk to Eve. . ." Mush said. He thought of his three children, four year old Ben, Milagros, age two, and tiny Phillip, who was only a few days old when he left. He closed his eyes to keep tears from falling.  
  
"I'll see what I can do," Jack said, placing a hand on Mush's shoulder.  
  
Lt. Alex "Blink" McBride dropped down beside Mush. They'd all been together in the same unit for a long time. "Hey fellas." He forced a smile then sighed when the other two didn't return it. "Thinking bout the girls? What I wouldn't give to talk to Liz. . ." He then looked up at Jack. "Any word from my sister?" he asked softly. Jack nodded. The two had become friends during their basic training, and Blink is the reason that Jack met his future wife. Sage, Blink's sister, came for a visit, and from then on the two were inseparable.  
  
Justin "Skittery" Coulter frowned as he nodded. "The President just gave his speech. That means they know." He toyed with the small golden Star of David around his neck. Crystal, his fiancé, had given it to him just before he left. "Crystal's gotta be freaked."  
  
Staff Sgt. Thomas "Guv" Masters lit a cigarette, taking a long drag to steady his nerves. He'd only been married to Hope for two years and he missed her and their year old daughter terribly.  
  
Anthony "Racetrack" Higgins sighed heavily. "I wonder how they're taking it. . ." He smiled sadly, thinking of his gorgeous wife Katie. She had been pregnant when he left, and was due just after her last letter arrived. He was unaware that she had given birth to a healthy baby girl three weeks earlier.  
  
"You heard anything from Katie?" Blink asked. "Wasn't she due recently?" Race nodded.  
  
"Nothin'. I'm dying to know. . ."  
  
"Keep your fingers crossed fellas and you might talk to your wives within the next few days. . ." Jack said softly, not wanting everyone to hear him. This declaration provoked both confusion and ecstatic happiness. Jack was finally able to smile. Thinking of home, no matter how much it hurt the men, helped them to go on doing their jobs, protecting the loved ones and the country they so adored. "Now pack up we're moving out in an hour. . . ." Jack added, his tone authoritative. He pushed Sage from his mind for the moment, forcing himself to focus on the mission at hand. Find a way to Baghdad safely.  
  
~*~  
  
Where I live in the desert, it's so peaceful and warm.  
  
And the cares of the world drift by, like clouds reflected in a quiet pool  
  
But there always comes a time, when a man has to think of the future,  
  
(War, war, war!) Has to think of his children, (war, war, war!)  
  
And the world they will live in (war, war, war, war!),  
  
I'm not sure if I can do anything to help them, but I can try, I can try.  
  
Time to build us a fire, seven hundred feet high,  
  
We can fashion a fire (fire) that will reach the sky (reach the sky)  
  
We can feed the flames with the unkind deeds we've done (with the fire),  
  
'Cause we've got to get ready, for World War None.  
  
(What we want is to burn our sins in a sort of furnace,)  
  
(We'll be stoking the fire with the lies we know)  
  
All our false suspicions we can burn them one by one  
  
That will help us get ready for World War None.  
  
(A little love is more effective than a rifle,)  
  
(A little faith will take you farther than it can)  
  
(The rule we follow is the one forever spoken)  
  
(They haven't got the truth on their lips).  
  
Keep on feeding the fire, till the fire is hot,  
  
With those un-neighborly feelings we deny we've got.  
  
Keep on trying for peace, until that peace is won.  
  
Then you're practically ready for World War None.  
  
(A whispered word or touch is louder than a bugle)  
  
(A silent prayer is so much stronger than a sword,)  
  
(And the bombs that can't replace the stained glass window)  
  
For which we should thank the good Lord, thank the good Lord)  
  
(Thank you, thank you, thank you)  
  
If we cherish our fire (if we cherish our fire)  
  
It could possibly be (it could possibly be),  
  
Bright enough to be seen, (bright enough to be seen)  
  
Far across the sea (far across the sea),  
  
When those other countries (when those other countries)  
  
what we have done (what we've done)  
  
Maybe they'll help us get ready (get ready, get ready)  
  
~ Frank Sinatra~ 


	3. a breath away's not far to where you are

lyrics included in this chapter: "to where you are" by Josh Groban  
  
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When the mail came a few days later, Race was disheartened to find that he had received no word from Katie. After dinner, as the other guys read their letters from home, he slipped off by himself, contemplating what could possibly have kept his wife from sending a letter. A sad smile crept across his face, but it soon faded into a worried frown.  
  
Who can say for certain- maybe you're still here I feel you all around me- your memory's so clear Deep in the stillness I can hear you speak You're still an inspiration  
  
"What happened? Is she all right? What about the baby?" Thoughts of Katie clouded his mind. He didn't notice when Jack sat down next to him.  
  
"Race. . ."  
  
"Huh? Oh. . . hi Jack. . ." he sighed heavily and stood up, not wanting Jack to see how distraught he truly was. He was supposed to be focused on their impending mission but could think of nothing but home.  
  
"Race. . . I want ya to meet someone. This is Bryan Denton." Denton stepped forward, extending his hand.  
  
"Anthony Higgins. . . known to some as Racetrack," he responded.  
  
"Pleased to meet you. . ."  
  
"I'm doing a special story on the families of Captain Kelly and those closest to him- I understand you're quite a close knit group." Denton explained genuinely.  
  
Race nodded. "How can I help?" he asked.  
  
"If it isn't too painful, could you please tell me about your family back home?" the reporter probed, trying not to be too invasive.  
  
"Denton Race has work to do. . . please don't take too much of his time." Jack said simply, walking away to give the two some sort of privacy.  
  
"What would you like to know, Denton?" Race sat down once more.  
  
"Tell me anything. . ." he answered.  
  
"Well, I have a wife at home. . . Katie. . . we'd only been married about a year. She was pregnant when I left. Due a few weeks ago." Denton nodded. Race's mind was wandering once again.  
  
Can it be that you are my forever love and you are watching over me from up above?  
  
"Have you spoken with her since leaving?" Race shook his head.  
  
"We don't have time or the resources to call from out here. . . Jack can. . . not us though." He shrugged.  
  
"Would you like to?" Denton asked.  
  
"What?!" Race snapped.  
  
"Would you like to call home?" he inquired once more. Race nodded, completely shocked.  
  
"How?" Denton passed him his phone. Race simply stared at it, dumbfounded. "Are you sure about this?"  
  
"Absolutely. . ." Race thanked him and began to dial his home phone number. His fingers fumbled over the buttons shakily.  
  
Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight to see you smile if only for a while to know you're there a breath away's not far to where you are  
  
~*~  
  
At five AM, Katie paced around her small, dark bedroom, holding her tiny baby, Lily, against her chest. "It's okay. . . shhhhh. . . " the baby was sputtering and crying. Katie patted her back gently. Finally she closed her eyes. After putting Rose back to bed, Katie said a quick prayer for Race and slid back under her sheets. Her dreams were fitful- full of visions of the man she so adored either being mortally wounded or dying in combat. She awoke many times, shaking and having to force herself to realize that he was fine and that nothing was wrong. She had to believe in Race and the other soldiers- that they would protect each other and return safely.  
  
I can't be sleeping here inside my dream and isn't faith believing all powers can't be seen  
  
Having stayed up all night tending to Lily, Katie slept quite late. When she finally did rise, it was nearly one in the afternoon.  
  
The phone rang, breaking the serene silence.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Katie. . . cara mia. . ."  
  
"RACE?!" Katie's heart skipped a beat. She had to be dreaming.  
  
"Yes. . . yes it's me. . ." he said, hardly believing that his wife was on the other end of the line. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yes- I- oh god..." she sat down on the bed, suddenly feeling weak kneed.  
  
"Katie?! What's wrong? Is it the baby?"  
  
"Nothing- the baby! Oh Race she's beautiful. Lily Higgins. She has your eyes." She sighed.  
  
As my heart holds you just one beat away I cherish all you gave me every day  
  
"Lily. . ." he said softly. "Send me a picture? I'm so relieved, honey I was so worried."  
  
"I can't stop thinking about you..."  
  
"Katie. . . I don't have much more time. . ." his voice cracked. "Stay strong, ya hear me? Whatever happens. I'll be home. Soon."  
  
"Race. . . please be careful. . . I had a dream-"  
  
"Baby, I have to go. . . I love you. . ."  
  
"Race please! Don't go! I LOVE YOU!" she pleaded.  
  
Cause you are my forever love and you are watching me from up above And I believe that angels breathe and that love will live on and never leave  
  
Katie put down the phone, in numb disbelief. She checked on the baby, staring down at her tiny brown eyed angel. Lily smiled up at her mother. Tears cascaded down Katie's cheeks. "She has his smile. . . " she thought, a sad grin creeping across her face. "At least he's safe..."  
  
Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight to see you smile if only for a while to know you're there A breath away's not far to where you are 


	4. the view from home

Lyrics in this chapter: "Not a Day Goes By" Lonestar.  
  
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"Mrs Kelly?" Kristin Davis, a pretty young reporter for the local news approached Sage. Her perfect blonde hair bouncing as she walked.  
  
"Yes?" Sage turned, her belly making the action a little awkward.  
  
"Everything is finished if you'd like to look at the tape and tell me what you think? We can still edit anything you need us too." Kristin said with a sad smile as she handed her a dvd.  
  
"Thank you so much for doing this for the guys, Ms. Davis." Sage smiled back. "And for us. It really means a lot."  
  
"Oh, no problem at all. My dad was in Desert Storm so I know what it's like to miss someone when they're over there. We are sending the full messages to the guys, this is what we're gonna show for the tribute on tomorrow's news. Let me know if you need more copies." She paused for a moment and bit her perfectly glossed lip. "I'm sorry, I have to get back to work now...but if there is anything else I can do to help, please let me know. You're all in my prayers."  
  
"Thanks." Sage watched as the young woman, a little younger than herself, meandered back into the fray. Her camera crew in tow.  
  
"You okay, Sagey?" Eve asked from behind her.  
  
Sage rubbed her squirming belly, put on a brave smile and turned to her long time friend. "Yeah. Let's see how it turned out shall we?" She handed the dvd to Eve. "Is everyone here?"  
  
"I think so." Eve looked around the community center's multi-purpose room. The wives, husbands, girlfriends and families of nearly everyone she knew had converged on the community center when they'd heard they would have a chance to send a video message to their loved ones. "I'll put it on."  
  
"Thanks." Sage sighed and took a seat between Rachael and Liz.  
  
A large tv and two smaller ones, all connected by thick black cables, sputtered with a moment of snow before the screens faded to black and the music started.  
  
~*~  
  
Got a picture of you I carry in my heart  
  
Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark  
  
Got a memory of you I carry in my soul  
  
I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold  
  
If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine  
  
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind  
  
~*~  
  
Pictures of the group she was sitting with flashed on the screen. They'd even edited the song so there were long instrumental interludes where the interviews could come through.  
  
"I wear his wedding band around my neck all the time and I know he's always with me and I know he's out there doing his job and it's the job he loves. Bring the guys home safe, Jack." Her own voice came through the speakers as pictures from their wedding and other photos of Sage and her children flashed on the screen followed by a video shot of her sitting sideways, showing her belly, and her three small children cuddled around her. Kaitlyn with flaming curls like her mother and tiny Faith, also with thick curls, and Connor both with their father's dark tresses. Both girls had his deep chocolate eyes while Connor's were green like Sage's. "We love you, daddy," they said together.  
  
Sage, somehow, had managed to not cry while filming but tears stung her eyes now as she watched.  
  
"Our daughter sleeps in his shirt... she's only 3 years old and she wears this big old t shirt to bed every night. But she won't go to bed without it now so he's gonna have a hard time getting it back when he gets home" Eve's voice trembled just a bit at the end. She cradled her infant son while Ben, who looked like a miniature Tyler, stood holding Mila's tiny hand in his.  
  
Liz squeezed Sage's hand as her own teary voice filled the room. "Alex is my hero and I love him with all my heart. I'm so proud of him, tell him to hurry home so we can get married." She held the teddy bear he'd given her before leaving and hugged it for dear life as she brushed away a tear.  
  
Sage returned the gesture then wrapped her arm around the smaller girl's shoulders. "He's lucky to have you." She gave a reassuring smile and a light squeeze. Liz was her strength and had moved in with her when the guys were deployed, to help with the kids. Well that was the idea, but Liz couldn't bear the thought of living in the apartment she and Alex shared while he wasn't there. It was a blessing to them both.  
  
~*~  
  
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you  
  
After all this time you're still with me it's true  
  
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside  
  
~*~  
  
"My husband's currently out at an undisclosed area of the middle east. I wanna say I love him and the kids miss him" Rachael's grip tightened on Sage's hand now. "C'mere guys," it showed her as she pulled her two young boys close to her. Sean's dark auburn hair and crystal blue eyes contrasted sharply with his stocky blonde younger brother.  
  
"Kick the bad guy's butt daddy!" Sean smirked, just like Aiden.  
  
"God I miss him." Rachael whispered to her.  
  
"This morning I had a dream about him and I rolled over in bed and was so excited to tell him and I opened my eyes and he wasn't there" Katie cradled her tiny baby girl up and the camera zoomed in showing the newborn's mess of black hair. "This message is for Sgt. Anthony Higgins. This is the first time seeing his daughter, Lily." Sobs racked the young woman's thin shoulders.  
  
Eve leaned over and hugged Katie.  
  
"He called right after the dream, Evey." Katie sobbed into her shoulder. "God, I miss him so much." Eve smiled and nodded, rocking her gently.  
  
"It's hard. . . not a lot of information. You wait three weeks for a letter and that's what you hang on to. We've been engaged for a year and this is my first deployment with him too, so it's been tough" Crystal bit her lip as the tears streamed down her face. "I love you Justin. Come home safe."  
  
Crystal twisted the solitaire diamond ring around her finger as she watched the video. Tears were streaming down her face as she listened to the words of the song.  
  
~*~  
  
I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night  
  
Thinkin' you might call me if your dreams don't turn out right  
  
And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark  
  
Wishin' you were next to me, your head against my heart  
  
If you asked me how I'm doing I'd say just fine  
  
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind  
  
~*~  
  
Rachael leaned over, her hand on Sage's arm. "Where's Hope? Didn't she come?"  
  
Sage frowned and shook her head. "I haven't see her all day and she never answered her phone. I hope nothing's wrong."  
  
"I'm ready to cry, it's just-" the soft tearful voice of Molly Gallagher matched the young woman's appearance perfectly. She was young- twenty- but looked much younger than that and had tears welling in her grey eyes. She cuddled a six month old baby girl on her lap. "Maybe I'll get him back sometime soon so he can meet his baby girl, Adella. I love you Gino." The last words were barely audible as she choked back her tears.  
  
Crystal scooted over a seat and put her arm around the younger girl. "It's gonna be okay." Molly leaned into Crystal's shoulder and sobbed.  
  
The next voice was that of a young man, a soldier, dressed in his perfectly pressed Army greens. He had three little girls and a young boy gathered around him. "Lute, honey..." He blinked a few times, gaining his composure and then looked up at the camera. "I really thought I would be the one to go, but your number was called instead. We're so proud of you and we know you're doin a great job. We miss ya and love ya so much. Stay safe and come home soon."  
  
Danny "Snitch" Riccio, sat in a row with the few other men in the group. His elbows propped on his knees, watching intently. A picture of the two of them, both dressed in their dress greens by a large American flag, flashed up on the screen and he swallowed hard to break up the lump of ice in his throat.  
  
~*~  
  
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you  
  
After all this time you're still with me it's true  
  
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside  
  
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by  
  
~*~  
  
"I wish I could be there with you guys..." Allen "Crutchy" Young laughed softly. He too was wearing his army greens. "But I guess that's the way life is, isn't it?" he smiled and looked down at his crippled leg. Crutchy had been injured in a raid toward the end of the first Gulf War and was unable to serve overseas now. Instead, he helped train the new recruits who moved onto the base. A picture of him and all of the guys overseas in Desert Storm appeared on the big screen. "I know you're doing a great job and we'll see you all soon..." his voice cracked just slightly. His fiance, Tiera Newell slipped her arms around him.  
  
"We're waiting to be married until you guys come home... please be careful and hurry back to us."  
  
As he watched, Allen pulled Tiera close. He smiled and gently kissed her cheek, wishing so badly that he could be overseas with his best friends but also thankful to be spared the pain of being separated from the woman he loved so dearly.  
  
Anne Elizabeth Jacobs and Anastasia Rasche sat together on one of the couches and stared up at the screen as their voices filled the room. They were there to send messages to their husband and fiance, respectively, David and Les Jacobs. Anastasia rested her head on her friend's shoulder after running her fingers shakily through her auburn curls. She blinked back tears and tried to focus on the video.  
  
"I love you, Davey." Anne Elizabeth smiled broadly and her dull green eyes flashed. She ran her hand through her long brown hair and continued speaking, her manner quite collected. "Just remember to find strength in the small things, laugh or smile every chance you get and know that you are dearly missed and we pray every day for your safe return to us." A picture of the couple at their wedding reception flashed briefly across the screen before the camera focused in on Anastasia.  
  
As the younger girl spoke, she tried to smile. "Les... I wish we could have had more time together before you left." She gulped and closed her eyes briefly before continuing. When she opened them, their usual golden brown color was muted. "You are my strength in everything I do. Stay safe and please come home to me. I love you."  
  
~*~  
  
Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days  
  
Seems it's been forever that I've felt this way  
  
~*~  
  
"This message is for Corporal Richard Hansen, he's the brand new father today of a seven pound four ounce beautiful baby girl." Michaela Cotton was propped up in a hospital bed, cradling her tiny newborn daughter. Kristen Davis had arranged for a remote camera crew to go to the hospital so Michaela could do her video message. The young mother's small frame and her long brown hair being pulled back into a single braid, made her look much younger than her 19 years. Her sky blue eyes focused on her baby, the infant had a small amount of her father's dark brown hair. " Her name is Shelley." She beamed into the camera.  
  
Michaela and "Tumbler's" three-year old son stood next to his mother's hospital bed and smiled into the camera. "I love you daddy... come home soon... and safe."  
  
Zachary "Specs" Winters sat near Snitch and his family. His brown eyes were distant and sorrowful and his expression unreadable as he listened to the video. He held an auburn-haired baby girl on his lap.  
  
"Analise... honey... I don't know how you do it. Your dedication and love for your job and country are an inspiration to all. Thank you for keeping us safe. I only wish I could be there with you. I love you." The little girl on his hip turned her head toward the camera. "Say hi to mommy," Specs said softly. Brianna smiled and her father helped her to wave to her mother and the other soldiers who would be seeing the video.  
  
Aislinn Renea O'Mailey was pacing around the large family room of the Community Center. She was rubbing her year old daughter's back. The baby was crying and tugging at her mother's curly hair. "It's okay, Skylar Elizabeth... it's okay..." she whispered, turning around to watch herself onscreen.  
  
"I guess you could say I'm selfish, because I wish you could be here with me and the baby instead of halfway across the world. But I realize that you are serving a greater cause and they need you more than I do right now. I think of you every single minute of the day and pray for you and everyone else to come back safely to us. Be careful Bryce, come home soon."  
  
All of the kids who were old enough to do so were now sitting on the floor in a large group, eagerly awaiting their contribution to the video.  
  
"USA! USA! USA!" twelve young voices shouted in unison. They were standing in a long line, holding American flags. The girls had red, white and blue ribbons tied in their hair. They waved at the camera and smiled for their parents.  
  
As the next image flashed onscreen, Eve found herself unable to watch. She stood up and placed Phillip in Crystal's arms. She walked to the back of the room and sat by herself, her head in her hands, tears falling freely.  
  
"You are our heros..." Katie, Sage and Jack's eldest child, smiled at the camera. "I love you, Daddy."  
  
"Papi, I wanna be just like you," Ben stood next to Katie, trying to be as serious as possible.  
  
"Show the bad guys what you can do, Daddy!" again, Sean smirked.  
  
The camera zoomed away from the children's faces to reveal the three of them in mini fatigues. Their last names were readable on white patches on their shirts. They also wore small black boots. They saluted the camera and the soldiers who would soon be watching the movie, perfectly in time with one another.  
  
The camera panned out to reveal the entire group, smiling and waving before fading out for a final time.  
  
Eve felt a small hand on her thigh. "Mami... it's okay... Papi will come home soon," Ben said confidently. Eve smiled and wiped away her tears.  
  
"I know... Mami has things to do now, little man, go tell Katie and Sean to get their siblings together. Aunt Liz is going to take you guys back to Sage's house while she and I finish up here." She kissed his cheek and he saluted her before going on his way. The children's obsession with pretending to be soldiers scared Eve. She didn't think she could deal with having to see both Tyler and Ben leave her.  
  
"Everyone seems to love the way it turned out," Sage was saying to Ms. Davis as Eve approached. She nodded her approval. "I think we're all set. Again, thank you so much for everything you have done."  
  
"As I said before, it's no problem, and I understand what you are all going through right now and I wish you the best. Your husbands and friends are in my thoughts and prayers," Kristin Davis responded before returning to her camera crew to get things cleaned up.  
  
"The kids are at home," Rachael informed her friends. "Liz just called... she wants to talk to you, Sage." Rachael handed her the phone.  
  
"Hi Liz what is it? She what? Repeat that I don't think I heard you properly." There was a long pause. "How could she do that?! Okay we'll be home soon," Sage said before hanging up. She turned back to the other girls. "Hope is gone. She took off with Shay early this morning. That's why she didn't come." Sage's tone was angry.  
  
The other girls were shocked. They walked out to their cars together, trying to figure out why their friend would do such a thing but were unable to find an answer.  
  
"Um... Sage..." Katie's soft voice interrupted their conversation. She had gone out to Eve's car before the other women came out of the building because Lily fell asleep. "You might want to see this." 


	5. letters from home

Lyrics in this chapter: "Letters from Home" John Michael Montgomery  
  
A.N.: This chapter is dedicated to Tyler Johnson. He is a fellow senior at my high school and officially enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps two days ago. I'm so proud of you, Tyler. I wish I had the guts to do what you're doing. Thank you. ~Evey  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Mail Call!" The words each soldier looked forward to with even more anticipation than the orders to move out.  
  
Sgt. Aiden "Spot" Conlon had a grin on his face that not only reached ear to ear, it shone brightly in his eyes. They'd waited for weeks for word from home but since they were constantly on the move and rarely spent more than a few days in any one location in the mountainous regions of Afghanistan, and now they would be in the front lines of the war in Iraq, it was a miracle that their mail had finally caught up to them. He carried a huge duffle bag full of letters and packages from home, slung over his shoulder.  
  
"Err, who are you Spot? The Army's version of Santa Clause?" Lt Alex McBride quipped.  
  
"Few months late if ya are," Lt. Ty Myers added with a grin.  
  
"Yeah yeah, you wont be jokin' when you see the other four bags they're bringing up," Spot smirked.  
  
"Yer kiddin!" Capt Jack Kelly lifted his head from his journal. He'd decided the day the towers fell, to keep a journal of his experiences; not so much for himself as for Sage and their kids. That way, if -God, forbid- something happened to him, they would have a record of how much he loved them and what he was doing to keep them safe. Of course there was no vital top secret information included, and he wasn't going to write anything uber disturbing in it, but they would get the idea of how much he and his men were trying to do. "That much?"  
  
Spot nodded. "It's still older stuff...but at least it's something. And...This bag is ALL ours...the others are for the men."  
  
He dropped the bag down on his bunk with a soft "thud" and a bit of a groan attesting to the weighty nature of the duffle and started to rifle through the contents. "Kelly....Kelly...McBride...Meyers....CONLON!" He tossed the letters to the guys as he read off their names. He beamed when he reached the first with his name, but just took an extra second to smell it then dropped the sweet scented envelope onto his pillow and kept going.  
  
"Higgins....Masters...Coulter...okay so I do feel a bit like Santa now," he grinned as the eyes of his friends lit up as their names were called.  
  
They had long ago decided that they would wait and get all the mail in a shipment and sort it by post mark before opening it. This worked rather well for them, even though it added a ton of anticipation by the time they each had their respective piles.  
  
"Screw it," Spot mumbled and hefted the bag over to Guv's empty bunk and up ended the bag, dumping its contents unceremoniously into a pile, making it easier to sort quickly. He sorted through the packages first. Those, they had decided, could be taken out of context and it didnt matter since it was usually stuff they needed or wanted to use immediately anyway. He tossed several light boxes to Jack.  
  
Jack chuckled. "Looks like Sagey's been collecting Beanie Babies for us again," he smirked as he opened the first box and dumped out a bunch of the colorful, light weight toys. The soldiers liked these to give to the kids they encountered as they were easy to pack and nearly always ensured a smile.  
  
Alex, deciding Spot was taking far too long to divi-up the bounty, got off his bunk and started going through the huge pile, making stacks for each of them.  
  
Once they were done three letters in his own pile caught his eye: the three most recent letters, according to the post marks.  
  
The first had the flowing writing of his mother. His family was close, well, as close as could be with his parents in Jonsonville, NC, Sage back home in Utah where he and Jack were stationed, and he and Jack in the center of the mid-east. He carefully opened the pale pink envelope with the floral pattern.  
  
My dearest son it's almost March  
  
I hope this letter catches up with you, and finds you well  
  
it's been dry but they're calling for rain  
  
and everything's the same old same, in Johnsonville  
  
your stubborn old daddy ain't said too much  
  
but I'm sure you know he sends his love  
  
and she goes on, in a letter from home  
  
I hold it up and show my buddies  
  
like we ain't scared and our boots ain't muddy  
  
and they all laugh like there's something funny bout the way I talk  
  
when I say momma sends her best y'all  
  
I fold it up and put it in my shirt  
  
pick up my gun and get back to work  
  
and it keeps me drivin' on  
  
waitin' on, letters from home  
  
"Dylan's engaged!" He kept reading, a smile on his face as he read about his younger brothers and what the latest gossip was. "Josh is joining the ...MARINES!? What? He can't join them...he needs to be Army if anything...not some...some...jar head Marine!" His protests and complaints were being met with laughter from the guys. He read on, till one line....one single line made him stop short and he nearly dropped the paper. "Uh...Jaaack....I think you need to read this."  
  
Jack chuckled. "Tempting as that is Alex...and no offence to your mom, you know I adore her...but I'd rather read the letters from Sage first."  
  
"But Jack...I know what she was trying to tell you."  
  
That got his attention. He looked up from the letter he was reading and gave Alex one of his patented "tell me now or die" looks.  
  
Alex leaned forward so as not to let the others hear him. "She's pregnant Jack..."  
  
Jack was gobsmacked. His jaw dropped and he floundered like a fish for a moment before speaking. "Are you sure?"  
  
Nodding, Alex handed Jack the letter and pointed to the spot he'd just read.  
  
Jack stared wordlessly at the letter before a grin slowly spread across his face. "I'm gonna be a daddy again!"  
  
Alex smiled and opened the next letter. He closed his eyes and sniffed the paper, it was still slightly scented with Liz's perfume. Out of months worth of letters, this was the first one she'd ever sent that was less than five pages long. He pulled the single sheet of paper from the envelope.  
  
My dearest love it's almost dawn  
  
I been lying here all night long  
  
wonderin' where you might be  
  
I saw your momma and I showed her the ring  
  
man on the television said some things, so I couldn't sleep  
  
but I'll be all right I'm just missin' you  
  
and this is me kissing you  
  
X's and O's, in a letter from home  
  
I hold it up and show my buddies  
  
like we ain't scared and our boots ain't muddy  
  
and they all laugh cause she calls me honey  
  
but they take it hard, cause I don't read the good parts  
  
I fold it up and put it in my shirt  
  
pick up my gun and get back to work  
  
and it keeps me drivin' on  
  
waitin on, letters from home  
  
An impression of her lips marked the bottom of the page in rum raisin lipstick. He brought the paper to his own lips and pressed them to the lip print. The closest thing to a kiss he'd had from his young fiancé in months, but to him...it was a moment of heaven in the midst of the hell he was living in.  
  
Jack opened and scanned each letter from Sage looking for some confirmation of what was said in her mother's letter to Alex.  
  
A small stack of photos fell from an envelope. Amidst the photos of his children and a picture of Katie standing at attention between Ben Meyers and Sean Conlon - they were dressed in mini fatigues and saluting for the camera- he found it. A photo of Sage standing sideways, one arm draped over the top of her belly and her other wrapped around the bottom, holding her sun-dress tightly to her so the swell and size was very noticeable. He grabbed the other photos she'd sent him and looked through them...now that he was looking for it he could see a slight swell in her belly in some of them.  
  
"When is she due Jack?" Ty Meyers beamed. He was happy for his Captain and friend. Sage had suffered a terribly difficult miscarriage just a month before they left and it had weighed heavily on Jack so news of another baby was welcome.  
  
"May 20th," Jack said softly. "Less than 2 months to go and I'm just finding out..." He was thrilled with the news but was a bit concerned as to why it'd taken so long for him to find out. He knew much of it had to do with the lack of consistency with their mail service, but he was still concerned.  
  
"Congrats," Ty grinned and tossed him a strawberry fruit roll up - courtesy of his three year old daughter who had insisted on sending him a box of them every few days.  
  
Alex smiled and leaned back against his bunk as he read the other letters from Liz. Finally, after looking over photos and cds of music she'd burned for him on her computer, he picked up the last letter.  
  
Dear son I know I ain't written  
  
and sitting here tonight alone in the kitchen it occurs to me  
  
I might not have said it so I'll say it now  
  
son you make me proud  
  
His father was not the kind of man that was super affectionate with his sons. Sage was daddy's girl and the affection between them was genuine and noticeable, but with the boys he was more reserved. That wasn't to say they weren't close, just that he was a quiet guy. Alex thought most of his father's silence on the matter stemmed from the fact that he'd served two tours of duty during Vietnam, and did his best every day to forget everything he'd experienced there.  
  
I hold it up and show my buddies  
  
like we ain't scared and our boots ain't muddy  
  
but no one laughs, cause there ain't nothing funny when a soldier cries  
  
and I just wipe my eyes  
  
I fold it up and put it in my shirt  
  
pick up my gun and get back to work  
  
and it keeps me drivin' on  
  
waitin on, letters from home 


End file.
